A Tale of a Personality Disorder Versus the Quest for the Perfect Outfit.

The Dressing Room Dilemma, or Let's be real here, shopping for clothes used to be my personal version of a poorly-scripted reality show. Picture this: a woman, that's me, standing in a dressing room, surrounded by a sea of clothes that looked oh-so-promising on the rack. But once I tried them on, it was like Cinderella's stepsisters trying to fit into that tiny glass slipper – a total mismatch!

For years, I juggled with this shopping chaos, never quite understanding why I'd oscillate between loving every single item in the store to hating them all with a passion that could rival a telenovela finale. I'd get these intense bursts of excitement, thinking I'd found 'the one' (I'm talking about a dress, not a life partner), only to spiral into a whirlwind of self-doubt and frustration moments later.

Then came my eureka moment, or as I like to call it, the 'Oh, that's why I'm like this' phase. Turns out, I've been living with a crossover of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). Suddenly, all the dramatics in the dressing room made sense. The intense emotions, the love-hate relationship with clothes, the whole shebang.

BPD often brings this emotional rollercoaster into everyday life, making simple decisions feel like high-stakes poker games. And HPD? Well, it adds a dash of flamboyance and a need for approval, which explains why I wanted every outfit to be a showstopper.

Enter, online shopping – my knight in shining armor, or should I say, my courier in a delivery van. Shopping from the comfort of my couch, with no judgmental mirrors or unflattering dressing room lighting, was a game changer. Click, add to cart, and voilà – retail therapy without the therapy bills.

Online shopping became my safe haven, a place where I could embrace my fluctuating moods without the added pressure of salespeople or the sensory overload of a bustling mall. And the best part? No commitment! If I changed my mind (which, let's face it, happens more often than not), I could easily return it, no questions asked.

So, here I am, diagnosed and still shopping, because why not? I've learned to embrace my personality quirks, using online shopping as a tool to express myself without the emotional turmoil. And yes, I still have days when I fill up my cart with the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store, only to abandon it later. But hey, that's just part of my charm.

My advice to anyone out there with a similar story? Find what works for you. If online shopping saves your sanity, go for it. Embrace your unique self, disorders and all. After all, life's too short to wear boring clothes, and too precious to spend it in a dressing room meltdown. Keep shopping, keep rocking, and remember – your quirks are what make you fabulous.